"Understanding Jealousy: The First Step before Having a Threesome"

Jealousy may be an issue you need to deal with when you decide to make your threesome a reality. Interesting dynamics can sometimes develop in couples new to threesome sex. Please allow me to shift subjects for a minute to explain to you what jealousy really means.

Let me relate jealousy to economics, this way the concept will be easier for you to grasp! If you look up the word “economy” in a dictionary, the definition will be something like this: “Economy is the science that studies the administration of scarce resources.”

Now. just think about it, for a second, what is the presupposition on this definition? That the resources are scarce right? Well that’s exactly what happens to us in life too; most people operate from scarcity, instead of abundance, and this simply translates into fears and insecurities.

Now you must be asking yourself : How on earth did I learn to be jealous?

You've learned jealousy from all the people around you, including your parents. Most people have three core beliefs about relationships that are guaranteed to create jealousy even in the most sexually liberated people. The sad thing is, that most of us have absorbed these beliefs without even realizing it. Identifying and dismantling these beliefs in our mind and heart is the single most effective way to short-circuit jealousy. The reason why the idea of a threesome is unthinkable to many people is because they’ve been “programmed” this way.

Jealousy Belief #1

If my partner really loved me, he/she wouldn’t have sexual desires for anyone but me.

This belief sees any interest your partner has in anyone else as a direct reflection of how much he or she loves you. It’s a quantitative view of love which equates the amount of love with the ability to be interested in having another partner. This is nuts isn’t it? We are sexual beings and it is normal to fantasize about being with other people. Denying these feelings goes against our nature.

Jealousy Belief #2

My partner can only be interested in someone else if I’m not good enough in bed.

This belief is even more sinister. With the previous belief you could at least blame it on your partner for not loving you enough. This belief says that if your partner is interested in someone else, it’s your fault for not being the perfect lover or spouse, therefore your relationship must be a failure. If you truly believe that your lover could ONLY be interested in another partner because you’re inadequate, you can see how that will generate jealousy big time!

Jealousy Belief #3

It’s impossible to share love with more than one person at the same time.

This belief is built on a 'scarcity mentality'; the belief that love is a scarce resource, that only so much goes around and that there’s never enough for all. If my partner gives away love (time, love, affection, sex, support) to anyone else, that means that there is less for me...

This belief creates fear and uncertainty!

If this belief were true, a mother wouldn’t be able love her first child as much after she gives birth to the second child, because she would have to divide her love between two. In my eyes love is infinite, and the more you give the more you'll receive. I hope I'm not sounding too wooei, wooei NEW AGE, but honestly, understanding these beliefs is CRITICAL, if you want to enjoy threesome sex regularly!

Suzy Bauer

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