Swinging - an Easy Option for a Threesome

Who are the Swingers?

People who swing come from all walks of life and economic levels. Every job classification, all races and nationalities are represented, though the majority is Caucasian, middle to upper middle socio-economic class, and married. Swingers, married and single, tend to be adventuresome, emotionally mature, and have excellent relationships with their mates and friends. Single people are involved in swinging but not to the extent of couples. Many single women have joined swing clubs, finding them a refreshing alternative to the traditional bar scene. 

Couples in Swinging

Swinging is "the recreation" for couples whether they are married, committed (having an ongoing emotional commitment), living together (co-habitating, with or without an on-going intimate relationship) or single couples who date. A study of swinging couples (McGinley, 1979) reported increased enjoyment and satisfaction in the relationships accompanied by a better understanding of self and mate, greater intimacy between the partners and a decrease in sex role playing and sexist expectations.

Swinging enables a couple to explore sexual and social feelings and needs together, permitting a demystification of sex which allows sex to assume a place in the relationship unhindered by the standard ties to love, duty, sex roles and morals of others.

Women in Swinging

It’s certainly an understatement to say that the role of women in our society has greatly changed over the past several decades. The humanistic and woman’s movements have had an impact on sexuality also. The number of women choosing involvement in swinging during the past few years is remarkable. Sexual and social assertiveness on the part of women at swing parties and other swing activities is not only acceptable, it has come to be expected.

To openly be yourself as a woman, without fear of seeming unfeminine is a delightful experience for us girls and a welcome experience for the man. Swinging provides the environment to alter sex-role playing for both sexes, allowing guys and gals to participate with each other in a uniquely human experience.

Men in Swinging

Whether married, in a relationship or single, swinging can be a wonderful experience for a man. Not surprisingly, most women who are into swinging were introduced to the lifestyle by a man in their life. Also not surprising, many men would swing if only they could. They’re hindered from the experience by their marriage, or if single, their inability to find a woman for a swinging partner. Of course, guilt feelings about sex and pleasure, and sex roles, also hinder guys from swinging. 
 
I’ve learned that men are not the macho, always ready, self-reliant persons of fiction. They’re as human as their female counterparts. They experience loneliness and fear rejection. A man, on convincing his wife to try swinging, may experience unexpected jealousy and a feeling of loss when she walks hand in hand, partially nude and obviously excited, toward a bedroom with another towel-clad man.

He had fantasized himself in swinging but hadn’t comprehended the reality of his wife or mate swinging. "The more enthusiastic member of a couple will get the couple into swinging, but the less enthusiastic partner will keep them there. As Carol Queen puts it in Exhibitionism for the Shy, "The swing community has noticed another prevalent dynamic in couples where one partner, more often than not the man, has more enthusiasm than the other. He has had terrific fantasies about freewheeling sex and plenty of it, and he finally convinces his initially reluctant partner to give swinging a try. "

When they get to the party, she has a great time and is high demand, while he thinks the party's a dud... Before you pack up your sexy outfit and fistful of condoms, take some time to consider and negotiate how you will deal with the chagrin of the less popular partner if such a dismaying event happens to you."

As with women, the experience of swinging can be growth producing for a man. It alters forever traditional concepts of man-woman relationships with sexist overtones. Through swinging, a both men and women can experience a great deal of pleasure.

Suzy Bauer

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